The Bathroom Wrecking Crew

Intro

‘Welcome to the Crew’



Growing up life wasn’t easy for Sandy. Even at a young age he towered over his peers. He was also not allowed to play in sports with the other children because the school principle thought he was too big and wouldn’t know his own strength. In-fact he’d get called out of PE because his body odor was so intense the other kids complained. It also wasn’t for a lack of showering or deodorant but his natural musk was just that powerful. Life didn’t get that much easier for him out of High School. The only thing that did go right for him was his time in the NFL before he was pressured to resign, in which case Sandy’s height and weight class is now banned from professional sports. The NFL gave Sandy fame and fortune. Despite not being featured in the Hall of Fame where his name rightfully belongs they chose not to add him claiming his contracts were too controversial regardless of his performance and success. As much as this didn’t settle right with him being discredited when his name was famous and he had what he wanted. He was 33 years old and the world was whatever he wanted it to be.



He still poses for sports magazines, habits famous gyms, and he cannot sit down for a decent meal at some restaurants with having to close the place down from the hordes of fans. What the vast majority of people don’t know is what he does outside of the main public eye now. Even despite some claims from others there is too much of a lack of evidence and he is too well-liked by others for it to matter. This of course is referring to his lifestyle of debauchery and hedonism. This isn't touching his more... private proclivities with friends.

He’d used his fortune very wisely. He didn’t need a modern-day mansion with a sixteen-car garage full of expensive sports cars. Nor would he ever even fit in such pitiably small contraptions. In fact he has a stock broker who one year managed to take 100,000 dollars from Sandy and gave him back over 470,000 the following years after some very smart investing. While this doesn’t happen every year the point is come tax season Sandy does not have to work and paying taxes on his investments and everyday expenses doesn’t make his money pool shrink. This left Sandy with nothing but options on what he wanted to do. Which is to say he’d never truly work another day in his life.


This led him to very quickly sinking into hedonistic depravity among other things. One primary thing being he was able to pursue body-building full time. As remarkable as it is Sandy built up the body he had without any artificial enhancements. Outside of professional sports Sandy began to use supplements he couldn’t before, something many of his friends had already been doing for years with visible gains from that were not steroidal, but almost as good. One particular thing he ran into being his diet. On days he’d power lift he’ll carbo-load on more than ten times the recommended amount for normal men his age. At nine-foot one-inch tall and over 700 pounds of pure muscle his metabolic rate burns more fat idle than a average man does jogging. Just as his body burns through what he eats and sometimes more in a day the need to shit and piss is just as frequent.



Someone Sandy’s size has many problems with every-day life. Doorframes are too small, stock cars are too small, taking public transit is a hassle, many devices and utensils are too small and/or frail for him to use proper, they don’t make clothing his size he can just pick up at a store, and toilets and urinals are far… far too small for him. Even so for his size and activity Sandy eats much more than any instructor would advise him to even at his weight and even despite that the sheer amount he shits is simply unreal. Sandy used to dread heading to the restroom while playing away in another city. Using normal toilets would be a four-hour-long evolution of shitting, pinching off not even a few seconds into shitting, and flushing. The sheer immense girth of his logs alone would helplessly clog toilets that were not high-pressure regardless of how quickly he’d pinch off. It was torturous to shit anywhere that wasn’t at home where Sandy had not one but several custom toilets he had made with huge bowls meant for handling his loads sucking them down even when he’d fill all three of them past the brim. It was a biological anomaly Sandy was a bit too embarrassed to go to the doctor with. Especially when the average girth of his loads were thick and heavy logs eight to almost twelve inches thick sometimes. This problem only got worse as Sandy got older. By the time he was thirty it’d take him the better part of two whole hours of shitting hard without stop to empty his bowels on what only took him a day to accumulate. On a ‘normal’ toilet this turned into almost an all-day evolution to carefully get it all out taking what should only take an hour and fifty minutes pushing hard to almost seven hours struggling with the ill-equipped porcelain. If Sandy had held it in for a few days prior this would turn into an all-day evolution taking twelve to fifteen hours of hell trying to fight with his bowels and the toilet. Even then he’d likely clog most of the toilets in the rest room or flat-out need to find another after clogging the last toilet after four hours of shitting.



Then one day Sandy had enough. It was not even a month after his 25th birthday and he was playing in LA when he had to shit after having to hold it in for three days. The game was tomorrow and he’d have to spend the rest of his evening shitting rather than partying it up with his team and discussing strategy. So the big cat went to the liquor store, bought a few six packs of malt liquor, and brought his tablet and charger with him into a subway terminal bathroom. He was beyond nervous to say the least… so nervous in fact he was shaking practically as he set his items down on the restroom counter, but he had no choice. He even felt bad for the janitor that would be walking into this mess but he’d already dedicated to it. He took some laxatives with his first drink, barred the door, and went into the first stall after hanging his pants and jockstrap up. The next five hours were positively amazing. It felt so incredibly good to finally just shit non-stop wherever he damn-well pleased. To push and push and push around logs so thick you can’t bring yourself to even try to pinch off as it keeps on coming without end in sight. The only time he pinched off was if he cut a hard, deep, and bombastic fart that sent clods of hot dung flying across the room. He’d rip ass for over half a minute straight. The baritone trumpeting of his ass was only silenced by the much lower tones of crackling and squelching as his pucker parted around the head of a new log that span dozens of feet before more gas would break it off. Sandy didn’t even touch his tablet… finding himself with his hands around his cock stroking himself… fucking his paws at times as one-by-one he didn’t just fill all five toilet stalls he buried them under a humongous steaming mound of cat shit that’d spill over the dividers of the stalls. When one filled he’d simply move to the other, swaying his hips the whole while as he’d shit all over the floor. By the first hour he was slinging those huge and heavy logs left and right without a care in the world. He got so into it the five hours flew by. In a way he almost felt disappointed more than relieved when at last with another loud and mighty fart he felt fairly empty. The smell… the smell of shit was so intense you could smell it more than 300 feet away. The floor was several inches of muck piles of logs stuck out from nearly to the ceilings. Much to his immense relief when reality set in he was never caught managing to slip away before anyone saw him. He left the bathroom utterly destroyed, every toilet buried under a steaming pile of shit, the urinals and sinks overflowing with shit alongside the trashcan with liquor bottles sticking from it. The room was flooded with almost four inches of churning piss midst piles of shit that were almost four feet tall, floor latticed with thick and heavy logs absolutely everywhere. The walls were plastered in brown, almost not a single inch below the sinks wasn't completely covered in brown.



He felt bad but couldn’t deny… that was one of the biggest rushes he’s ever had in his life. It felt so fucking GOOD to finally just let go… not give a fuck about anything other than he wanted to do it. It was convenient to him and he enjoyed it… and that was all that mattered. This led to him doing it again and again… getting braver every time as he grew more comfortable with it. Eventually he called his best friend Thackary who surprisingly to Sandy did not need to be convinced that much to try it out when like Sandy Thackary had the very same problem if not worse as he was much taller than Sandy with much thicker thighs that supported a bigger hole as well. They loved watching each-other shit. Sandy was even a little jealous when he stuck a yard stick in one of Thackary’s cables and discovered those heavy logs tended to range from thirteen to almost twenty inches thick at their thickest. With time they even grew comfortable handling each-others shit and getting physical with it. Thackary’s first taste of shit was running his tongue along the immense girth of one of Sandy’s logs as it pushed out his ass. Ther experimentation was enough to find out Thackary pushes out over twenty pounds of shit in a log not even four feet long. The density of their logs was simply unreal, packed to the point they didn’t break apart coming out. What originally both thought was a curse turned into a perverted pleasure they only got more and more into. Eventually they recruited more of their friends who had this very same problem and started the controversial dark internet series known as ‘The Bathroom Wrecking Crew.’



Sandy started this while still playing sports so he had to assume a new identity for these shenanigans including paying someone to make him another identity as well as several fake IDs. This being supported with makeup and non-prescription contacts to change the color of his eyes. This gave police a different vandal to chase. Naturally the FCC has tried to ban their site many times but it changes servers and site address immediately after reappearing not even three days later. Sandy died his fur black and adorned a black leather kitty mask. Just to get into it his friends also got into the leather fetish gear for it, later taking a liking to it even. What made their content so illegal was all the bathrooms and public areas seen in their videos were real public places. Vandals so brazen they were selling their videotaped accounts of highly pornographic vandalism for money on the internet. What’s worse is this website was quickly becoming very popular. When they finally found an address on the dark web the FCC left alone or flat-out gave up their website had over 200,000 subscribers. A number that only has grown the bolder and more creative they’ve become with their vandalism.



They now have a dedicated video editor, production assistant and co-editor, two lookouts and informants, and two camera boys who make a living off the money earned from their photos and videos. Sandy and his friends do it for fun not the money so every penny earned after their crew is paid goes towards new equipment and allowing them to take on more brazen targets. They now have pocket drones that are not only whisper quiet but with HD cameras able to take shots at angles, vantage points, and heights a normal camera man can’t. Being able to pack light and setup effectively very quickly only to break their equipment down hours later is an art they had to be on the leading edge of. Most of their props are custom with battery packs to setup where plugins are not present.



‘I have to admit as our director Sandy makes this feel so much more like fun than a chore. None of this is scripted and it’s done entirely on impulse. We’re always going to be limited to amateur porn, but Sandy or ‘Daddy’ as he goes by when the mask goes on is in a class of his own. He’s over nine feet tall and Thackary or ‘Big-D’ is over ten feet tall. Two titans that shit their own body mass almost several times over with what they produce in a day. There is absolutely no place you’ll ever find that. It’s better than barnyard porn when half the allure is the sheer amount of shit and these studs can produce more than that together in a single day. When we set up for a shoot its casual, laughing with each-other, making jokes, and just… getting ready to watch them enjoy themselves. Every one of these studs are best friends who do this for fun not money. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t envy them really. Just to bring it home we love what we do, we don’t use air fresheners or clean-up half-way through. The smell of BO and shit gets so intense in those rooms your nose doesn’t get used to it nor would we ever want to’ – Keith (off the record)



They are so unpredictable and reckless with this they have three sub-series on their sight called ‘Money or Dare’ where they get drunk and take turns daring one-another to do things as a group that are very outrageous and disgusting. Those that chicken out need to pay out. They also have a more expensive series called ‘Room Service’ where instead of bathrooms they wreck hotel rooms. They also have a series called ‘Toilet Boys’ where they take cute twinks and shit and piss all over them… then fuck them hard usually during and afterwards as well.



Another novelty of their outlaw studio is the sheer quality they deliver and the fact they’ll brag that the videos they release are not even half of what they do together, which is fairly accurate. They are able to deliver studio-grade quality with decent sound and video editing above that of what you encounter in the field. Thanks to Sandy as well they have almost unlimited range in where they can go and what they can do. The following mini stories are a collective of the production of their videos behind the scenes of these bathroom vandals and their disgusting passion.



Act I

‘Las Vegas Nights’



‘You could imagine our excitement when I got the call from Sandy asking if we felt like taking a plane to Nevada. This was the first time we’d ever do some filming there and with it posed all new challenges. We couldn’t book no hotel because we had to physically go there to scope it out. Sandy told us no hotel was out of the budget, but if we picked a resort we’d -have- to wreck both the bathroom and every one of the bedrooms we were staying in. Usually we’d pick a restroom that was secluded with low traffic at a time of night where its least active. Rope it off, have fun, and bolt. This was the first time Sandy challenged me to go with Jacob and Alex to browse the strip for potential candidates. This was such a massive project we arrived in Vegas three days before Sandy and the rest of our cast arrived. We needed almost every second of that window to thoroughly look around and scope the hotels out. One of my primary focuses is ensuring none of us get caught on anyone else’s footage and no one gets arrested. That’s something you can’t take lightly so we took the initiative this time to borrow money from Sandy to ensure we had a solid plan by the time our bus arrived in Las Vegas. Most of our cast members are much too large to fly commercially so we own our own private bus to get around in. It also makes for excellent getaways, especially when we have several license plates for it for the same vehicle and color. It was a favor for one of Alex’s underground contacts.’ –Keith; ‘Big Boss’



‘Ultimately the plan was for us to stay in Vegas for three weeks. We wanted to try and push for something we’d never really done before. All nine of our boys in one bathroom and bowels loaded after a week of holding it in. We wanted them all desperate to shit with bladders fit to almost burst when we’d do the first hotel. Just to show off what happens when we get all nine of the big guys in one place. Our target of choice was a smaller hotel off the main strip. A casino called ‘Desert Cats Casino,’ about five minutes off the Vegas strip. It was the ideal target for its back patio pool area had street access over a fence we could cut. All our crew would have to do is exit for the street where the bus would be waiting. The target bathrooms were also massive. The casino floor area has four restrooms. Two mens and two womens and during the late hours of low traffic they close one down for servicing. Casinos also only care about one thing. Money. They have a camera aimed at the bathroom of course but all eyes are glued on the floor as the casino floor never closes. So we told them to eat large meals and take anti-diarrheal until they couldn’t hold it anymore. The thing about us is we also take no chances. Bogus IDs and throwaway phones are the tools of our trade when wrecking hotels. Any information they have to take from us is whatever we want it to be. In this case though we were not gonna be wrecking the hotel room this time so payment security wasn’t a big priority.’ –Alex; Brown Noser



[story pending]



‘I have to admit Las Vegas was probably… -the- biggest thrill we’ve ever had. In a way we were all a little nervous to some extents. One of our dreams was to film us wrecking a five-star resort. I wanted us pushing thick and heavy logs out over fine silken sheets, wiping our asses with fine robes, shitting against walls covered in elegant wallpaper, and shitting over posh furniture. This was also something our fans had wanted to see. It required very careful planning but after Desert Cats we went to the most expensive resort on the strip. Casino and Resort ‘High Moon Casino.’ I’m almost embarrassed to say how much a week there cost just for one room. Our combined security deposit was… what? -Thackary’s chuckling is heard in the background- “6,200 for five rooms.” No way! It was that much? “That was just the 50% security deposit dude. We bought the presidential sweet remember?” I had more than a few nights I was pretty drunk dude so I don’t remember it all with clarity except the last few days because you wouldn’t stop farting. I had to be sober for that. Only I do remember that. It got so bad we killed the card’s account in case people began to complain about the smell. “Not my fault I get extremely gassy when baking a mammoth load. Besides, what are you complaining for? You starting ripping ass every five minutes yourself. That and you had your face up my ass huffing every blast out my cheeks you perv.~” I know it was bad enough we didn’t go to the gym the last two days and ordered takeout.’ –Sandy and Thackary; Daddy and Big-D



[story pending]



‘The last week was for us not the camera. Our crew worked very hard to make those photo shoots possible and we got very good footage. We had dozens of very high-quality HD pinup shots and six videos we’d need to start working on that we knew would go viral. What some don’t know is this isn’t a gimmick to make money for us. We genuinely love what we do and it’s had very positive effects on our lives. Particularly in eradicating any form of guilt or shame we may have previously had.



[story pending]









Act 2

‘Camping Trip’



[STORY PENDING]



Act 3

‘Shitty Amusement Park’



[STORY PENDING]



Act 4

‘Public Transit Nightmare’



[STORY PENDING]



Act 5

‘Unofficial Sweepstakes’



We know we have many fans that would kill to spend a day with us. Our email inboxes are always full of fan mail and hate mail alike. The problem is as much as we’d love to hold a contest of sorts for one or three lucky winners to join us on-set that’s not how it works for us unfortunately. That’s begging problems and complications to come into the equation. However, it didn’t stop us from inviting others we’d know for a while to either feature on the set with us or just hang out for a day and take a few very… very teasing pictures to drive other fans mad with jealousy.



Act 6

‘The Pool’



One dream we had on the Bathroom Wrecking Crew was taking a public pool and turning it into a literal pit of hot and steamy shit. Make a party of it in fact. The issue always glaring at us in the face was location and time. Many public pools as you can image close at sundown, but are always located in dense urban areas that are roadside. Naturally most pools hold around 110,000 gallons and as impressive of shitters the nine of are we’d need backup if we wanted the mounds of shit to just fill the pool, let alone overflow it. Even at his best Thackary shits the most out of all of us and his record is making over 1130 gallons of shit in one bowel movement (an absolute COLOSSAL mountain of shit, but nowhere near enough to fill a public pool with the nine of us). Whatever the pool had to be it would have to be isolated, smaller, and within distance of several of our friends.



It was then Sandy had a stroke of brilliance. If they found a pool currently being used they’d spend hours draining it before the fun could even begin. They’d never have the time to even fill it with shit, let alone enjoy it proper. They were thinking from the wrong angle the whole time. Instead of finding currently used pool they’d look for one under construction or sitting unused.



We weren’t really expecting to ever find a suitable candidate so we didn’t send Big Boss, Alex, or Jacob to investigate. Instead Sandy stumbled upon the site entirely by-chance one day on his way to the stadium. There was an old hotel off of Eclipse Street in New Jersey you could see off of the interstate. It had just recently closed and was scheduled for demolition in four months. It was sad we couldn’t find a current-use pool for what we wanted. This felt almost as if we were cheating a little on our standards but we swore to still not give up on our dream of conquering swimming in a real current-use pool we’d filled past the brim with our shit.



Act 7

‘Experiment’



Sandy finally managed to shimmy himself from the doorway to the doctor’s office, hunched over as he walked down the hall, holding some papers in his hand. It was minutes from noon when he heard the tone of his cellphone go off. Reaching into his shorts the big cat brought out one of his three phones, the one the Crew used to talk to one-another with.



“Soooo what did the doc say?” Thackary’s voice asked with a chuckle, the big boomer so close he heard the kangaroo’s voice to his side as he stepped out of the building. Turning to his left there he was leaning against the outside wall of the clinic, grinning as he hung up seeing the lion come out finally.

“He says I am a model of health. There is nothing he can find that is quote ‘wrong’ with my bowels,” the lion explained, putting his own phone away.



“Okay, but did he say anything about… you know. What we got?” Thackary inquired as Thackary texted Jason they were ready for pickup.



“Yeah. There isn’t any official name for it. Apparently the nine of us and the boys are part of 39 known cases of this in the entire world the Docs are calling it ‘Hammerspace Bowels.’ A very obscure and rare condition the doctors don’t have the slightest clue about because it’s never been documented or studied before,” Sandy explained as the silhouette of their bus turned onto the street in the distance as they waited curbside. “People with this condition are able to eat and shit many times their own body weight. All with seemingly no consequence to the body’s overall health,” Sandy went on, the big roos ears twitching before he looked up, genuinely stunned.



“Duuuuude! They can do what?” Thackary asked seemingly in genuine excitement the lion wasn’t catching onto as their ride came up alongside them, air breaks hissing as those massive doors swung open. The two titans clambered in, greeting the coyote who waved them on as they got seated inside. It was just the two of them inside the bus today as they lounged back on the couches near the front.

“Why are you so excited?” Sandy asked in genuine confusion, sighing to feeling the rush of AC over him from the climate control that kept the interiors of the bus frosty for the furred mammals in the burning heat of the summer outside.



“Because you told me we can eat several times our own bodyweight dude!” Thackary explained, Sandy cocking an eyebrow.



“Okay so look. My record for holding it in is 19 days straight eating normally. Eating liberally I usually gotta shit in six to eight days. I’ve been running this over in my mind and something wasn’t adding up, NOW it makes sense. Think about it. This whole time we have still be playing it safe, not waiting to the point of desperation to shit because we didn’t know what was going on and didn’t want to exceed some boundaries that may or may not have been there right? It makes sense now. No meal you or I have ever eaten has felt filling because it’s truly never been filling. What if we’re not just burning through what we eat every day, but basically making our bodies run on the equivalent of fumes? What we’ve been eating is actually very carefully calculated off of normal diets for men our weight, well we are not normal men by any stretch of the imagination.



-Equipment-



Some have asked us questions on how we are able to setup, destroy a public place while recording it so professionally, and then bounce without leaving a trace. Fact is we can’t disclose our tactics and it would be foolish to, but we can explain how we use our equipment. The biggest challenge in making high-quality footage is placement of lights, microphones, and seeing as bathroom is in the name acoustics.



The largest hurdle for us was stringing takes together fluidly between each adjustment and as the name implies ‘bathroom’ reducing echo. Doing all this to bring you the clarity we do hearing the logs crackling and squelching out their asses and to feel the power behind every deep and bombastic blast of gas. That and to capture the majesty of those shitting puckers at breathtaking angles.



We pack light using only two power source bag packs for our equipment (waterproof of course). We place them in plastic bags because we typically have to pull them out of two ore three feet of shit after our boys are done. We have three powerful LED lighting fixtures on a coaxial tripod with bags around the legs. We use generic disposable bags we don't take from local stores to protect our equipment so we can abandon them at the scene. It makes pulling them out of the shit so much easier and cleanup after easier as well as making it untraceable. We us two small flying drones that are whisper quiet thanks to insulating the motors and keeping the propellers greased. They use 1080p HD cameras as well streaming the video recorded and stored on our laptops. We use two handheld HD cameras for recording with professional and very sensitive microphones, and two professional photography cameras mounted on monopods we use for single takes as well. Our crew also wear very small and discreet microphones for enhanced up-close audio we can use and as many have seen we use acoustic foam we just throw up around the room for every take to reduce the noise levels. Seeing as our boys do mean it when they say they shit everywhere that also includes the walls and even ceiling the foam is always too ruined to take with us. So it’s been a bit of our ‘calling card’ for the police. The drones are what allow our photography to really shine through. As the room fills with shit maneuvering cables and monopods through the piles becomes a hassle and sometimes too risky. When the room get fuller and fuller the drones allow us to take amazing angles to our stars as they continue to shit and frolic in their mess. Problem is our videos can only be an hour long at most and it takes our boys almost eight hours to shit it all out after holding it in for a week. So we take the best shots and parts of our footage and do our best to string it together in a fun and engaging way.



The key to our setup is wire minimization and only going with what is truly needed. We also check the cameras and equipment the day before filming and three hours prior again to make sure it’s ready to go. We setup quick and it’s easy to adjust as the room starts literally flooding with piss and shit. Filming and recording elements are all monitored by Big Boss’s laptop on our rolling cart the battery bagpacks also rest on to keep them off the ground that very much could fill to up to eight inches of churning piss. We also have a strict ‘wires off the ground’ policy for this same reason as well as we don’t want wires getting caught under piles of shit.



We have a strict policy for those wondering. ‘Don’t shit or piss in the direction of the filming crew or equipment. Everywhere else is fair game,’ is our policy. It’s why more than not you never see the entrance to the bathroom and if you do its early-on and almost immediately snaps back to the other side. People also love watching us fill trash cans so if the trash can is not moveable near the entrance we bring our own large 100-gallon trashcans with our logo stamped on them. It’s a feature of our bathroom destruction the fans love as well as once again tends to be hallmarks we leave the cops know well.